Where did all the Boobs go?

NRS's latest scandal takes us, somewhat unexpectedly, into the murky past of the General. NRS has long been interested in the General's origins, and the latest information we have learned about the General's hometown (no, not China) is somewhat alarming.

We recently learned of the marriage of Bethany Mann to Dustin Boob (pictured at right). NRS can't help but hope that they plan on having lots of Mann-Boobs in their happy future. But, being the investigative journalists we are, NRS became curious as to the likelihood of such a union taking place. How common is the last name Boob? Are good Boobs hard to find?

The probability of finding any Boob at all, let alone a pair of them, is in fact alarmingly low. According to the 2000 U.S. census, there are 290 people with the last name Boob in the United States. In a population of 100,000 people there is a Boob frequency of only 0.11. A quick search of this reporter's home town revealed that there were in fact NO Boobs! Not a single one! This can be explained by a small population however, because in a town of this size, one would only expect to have 0.029 Boobs. So, let's pick a larger place. Surely someone in Boston has the last name Boob? In fact, Boston deserves to have 4.99 Boobs, given the population frequency of the name.

But no, the closest Boob NRS could find is in Framingham. Framingham! So, readers, you might wonder, who is hogging all the Boobs?! Where did Boston's Boobs go?

NRS relied on several clues to answer this question. First, the happy Mann-Boob couple were married in Millheim, PA. Never heard of it? Well, it is in fact a mere 30 minutes from where the General grew up, according to Google maps. NRS obtained this clipping from an independent source in State College, PA. This connection to the General was of course somewhat intriguing.

Since then, NRS has confirmed from two independent sources that a math teacher at the General's high school was named Mrs. Boob. Yet another suspicious coincidence? A quick look at the State College phone book was all it took to confirm our theory that the General's home town possess an uncommonly large set of Boobs. In fact, whitepages.com lists 66 Boobs in the zip code for State College. If Boobs were evenly distributed, then State College would be in possession of just 0.05 Boobs. That's right, State College has 1,320% more Boobs than predicted. Scandalous. That p-value must be as small as the Boobs population size is large.

So, the real question is, are these the only Boobs in the General's past? A google image search for the General's real name suggests otherwise...